He did not bring us out this far to take us back again.At Adoration yesterday this song arose in my heart. I can still imagine my college friend Sarah playing it on her guitar and catching the change in pitch just right with her voice (I never could). Why this song, why today? I began to journal:
He brought us out to take us into the Promised Land. (x2)
Though there be giants in the land I will not be afraid. (x3)
Perhaps it's because I feel like I'm floundering out in the open a little. God has most certainly led me to this stage in my life - I've followed Him to and from some strange lands (New Jersey??) along the way. I now find myself happily married (Deo Gratias!), working full time in a decent job, living in a decent apartment, looking forward to some new ministry opportunities . . . and childless. Is motherhood my Promised Land? Why can't I see it on the horizon yet? What am I to do here in the desert in the meantime?
Eat manna.The words came to me like a whisper, but the command was strong: Eat manna.
Do you mean the Eucharist, Lord? Are You calling me to draw nourishment for my journey from Your Body and Blood? I go to Mass up to 6 days a week, Lord. I am receiving You. Is there more I need to do?
I come to give you life -- abundant life.Yes, Lord. I know that my heart has been stiff, closed-off, and distracted at times - unreceptive. There are giants in my heart, and they try to separate me from You.
Though there be giants in the land I will not be afraid.Lord, forgive my doubt - free me from fear. Help me to conquer the giants and open myself fully to receive your graces. Jesus, I trust in You. Grant that I may recognize and embrace the abundant life You offer me.
I share these personal reflections and prayers with you because I want you to know how good God is to me when I struggle. His messages to me opened my heart anew to His love and I left His Presence filled with joy and hope. That hope carried me through today. After a busy day of work I still had a song in my mouth and a bounce in my step. At one point a coworker caught me bouncing and imitated me playfully. Bashful but wanting to explain, I blurted out, "I'm happy!"
"I know," he replied, smiling. God is good.