I Won!

I went on a retreat this weekend - it was a great experience for me. But that's not what I want to write about right now. On our way home, David told me a box of pots and pans had come for me while I was gone. Pots and pans? I did not order any, nor was I expecting them from someone else. Where could they have come from?

As soon as I got home I examined the contents of the big box and my suspicions were confirmed: I had won a sweepstakes I had entered online almost daily in December in January! The Fall Cooking Sweepstakes, which I had seen advertised on a page in a coupon circular in a Sunday newspaper, ran through 1/31/11 and was open to daily entries. I saved the url in my bookmarks and visited whenever I remembered to do so - I used the form auto-fill feature in my web browser so all it took was 20 seconds with a few clicks and keystrokes. I'm not big on gambling, but these were free chances at a decent prize!

What prize? Well, the full list of prizes is here, ranging from a "10 Piece Authentic Cookware Set, 5 Knorr® Sides™, plus a $350.00 American Express gift card" Grand Prize down to a "Sauté Pan Combo (8”/10”) plus 2 Knorr® Sides™" Fifth Prize. When I was entering the contest, I thought:

1) We don't eat Knorr Sides any more, due to their high content of "bad stuff" like MSG. But, if I win them, I can donate them to the food bank.

2) I don't like using nonstick pans any more, since the coating leeches chemicals into foods. We only have a few left, mostly because David still prefers them. But if I win them, I can donate them to the Catholic Social Services Refugee Resettlement Program. They set refugee families up in apartments and can use that kind of thing.

3) It sure would be nice to win a gift card!

Amazingly, I won the First Prize: WearEver Cookware Specialty Line – 10” Round Griddle, 11” Square Griddle, 12” Open Wok, 12” Covered Everyday Pan, 5 Knorr® Sides™, plus a $250.00 American Express gift card. Approximate Retail Value: $352.21.

I still plan on donating the food and cookware. But the $250 cash card is such a blessing! Deo gratias! David and I will discuss how best to use it.

I'm lobbying for a rain barrel for our garden. :D

We made an offer on a house today

Some of you know that David and I have been seriously house hunting for about a month now. So much time and mental energy has gone into this process, especially David's. He's been incredibly diligent with researching areas of town, crime maps, flood plains, home listings, repair/renovation estimates, and more. We've been out with our realtor several times and have seen about a dozen houses. We've number crunched, deliberated pros and cons, and pored over pictures and details with family members.

Yesterday, after seeing 3 new (old) houses, we returned to our previous top choice and sat in it for a while (I nursed Teresa while sitting on the hearth). It just felt right. So we decided to make an offer. This morning we met with our realtor to complete the paperwork. Now it's in the seller's hands.

Overall, we have great peace about moving forward on this house. We've put it all in the Lord's hands and we trust that He will continue to guide us. However, an eminent "big change" has left me unsettled and poor David is suffering the brunt of my stress-induced behavior. My mind is already racing ahead to all the stuff we will need to get and do if we get the house. A mixture of excitement (so much to learn!) and fear (so much could go wrong!) about the future is hindering my ability to function in the present. Lord, help me!

David knew we both needed a break, so he suggested we go to see the movie "Up." I was fearful about taking a 3-and-a-half-month-old into a movie theatre, but David was reassuring. Everything turned out wonderfully! The movie is really cute and, although the high volume woke Teresa up as soon as we took our seats and kept her awake the whole time, she only fussed briefly twice. The rest of the time she nursed, stood supported on my legs, or sat in our laps and watched the screen. We covered her ears when the soundtrack got intense, but she was happy as a clam. Even changing her diaper in my lap went smoothly. Deo gratias!

One last little thing to share: when the movie ended, I had Teresa in my lap covered by a cream-colored blanket with medium-sized bears on it (a spare blanket we keep in David's car and rarely use). She actually bent forward and stroked one of the bears repeatedly. She is amazing!

David graduated!

On Friday, December 19th, we celebrated the momentous event of David's graduation from nursing school. Many long and challenging years of study, practice, and performance culminated in his graduating with honors, and we give all the glory to God (David even wrote "Deo Gratias" on his cap with medical tape). Next step: taking and passing the NCLEX (state boards) some time in January. Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers for David during this journey! May God be glorified by the results. :)

David with his school and work schedule marked off each day leading up to graduation:

The cap (which sparked lots of questions from fellow students and instructors):

(David is holding our nephew, Sean)

Pregnancy Update

Deo Gratias, everything's going well! Compared to some other women's experiences, my pregnancy is an "easy" one. Although I have my share of little woes, they aren't much to complain about.

On Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) I went to the OB for my glucose tolerance test. I actually enjoyed the drink, which tasted like condensed orange soda (the carbonation helped). While we waited for an hour to pass we got to meet with the Certified Nurse Midwife I like best (of the three we've met). I asked her to help me understand exactly why my due date was changed from February 25th to February 15th and she explained that the new date was actually set back at my 8-week ultrasound (when Teresa was just a little bean) and confirmed at my 19-week "anatomy" ultrasound. Although I'm still inclined to answer "mid to late February" when people (frequently) ask me when I'm due, I now know why the OB thinks she'll come closer to Valentine's Day. If Teresa chooses to wait longer, I will hold my ground against induction for as long as possible.

I also asked the midwife if she had any tips for preventing or alleviating the back pain I'm experiencing daily now. She gave me a helpful brochure with exercises to strengthen my back. I'm trying to sit conscientiously (especially when I spend many hours in front of the computer for work) and change my position often. But every afternoon or evening that nagging pain in the right center of my back returns and usually doesn't leave until I get in bed at night. I use my hands or a vibrating massage bug to put pressure on the painful muscles.

After drawing my blood, the clinician told me that my glucose tolerance results would be in Monday and no news is good news. When we got home I received a phone call informing me that my hemoglobin level is low (9.4) and I need to be eating more iron-rich foods. So David made us steak that night. :) It's now Wednesday and I haven't heard from the OB again, so I'm assuming I passed the glucose test and do not have gestational diabetes. :)

I do experience a bit of heartburn at night and some digestive troubles now and then, but that's about it. David would add that I also have wild hormonal mood swings, but I don't know what he's talking about. ;)

Teresa has become very active - or I've become more sensitive to her movements. Either way, I feel her bucking, rolling, kicking/punching, and stretching often - I've even started feeling her feet in my ribs, as my sister described with her pregnancy a few weeks back. The movements are not bothersome and haven't kept me awake at night yet. Sometimes it can be a bit disconcerting when my belly "does the wave" or I'm repeatedly poked while trying to concentrate on a conference call or something. But I usually put my hand on my belly and she goes still. I enjoy sharing the experience with David, who has gotten to feel a lot of movement under his hands and his cheeks (he likes to put his face up against my belly).

My first nursing shirt (ordered during a Thanksgiving sale) arrived yesterday - it will be a cute part of my summer wardrobe. I look forward to collecting some more nursing-friendly tops as I prepare for Teresa's arrival.

Saving My Kisses

My sister Beth called me the other night to tell me a TV show she watched made her think of me. TLC runs a program about a real life family of 19: "17 Kids and Counting." The Duggars are devout Christians who have invited the network to share their life with the world. The episode my sister saw recently highlighted the eldest Duggar son's engagement to his girlfriend - and their decision to save not only sex but also kissing for their wedding day. The Duggar parents have encouraged all of their children in this idea and those of dating age shared how they have embraced it.

This made Beth think of me because of my own decision not to kiss anyone but my future husband.

"So, now you know I'm not the only weird one," I said.

"Right!" she replied. :)

I didn't really date in high school (I was too busy with academics and athletics). By the end of my freshman year of college I had committed myself to honoring God in my relationships - for me, this meant I desired a chaste and holy courtship. This fuzzy ideal became a concrete reality days before my 21st birthday, when I began my first courtship. Deo gratias, my first boyfriend had been raised in a devout Catholic home where respect for God and for women was taught and modeled on a daily basis. He told me that he had decided to save kissing for engagement and, though the concept was fairly new to me, I agreed. He modeled purity throughout our courtship and I learned the practical side of chastity. Even though our courtship ended after 11 months with a discernment of "no, God is not calling us to marry each other," I am incredibly grateful for all that I learned from that brother in Christ, including the art of patient passion.

Two courtships later, I (finally!) discerned a "yes, God IS calling us to marry each other" with David and we got engaged - and shared our first kiss. I was 25-years-old, terribly awkward, and terribly (in the good way) excited. What a mysterious gift!

I share all this to encourage any singles who are considering what boundaries to set on their physical intimacy within courtship: you will not regret saving kissing for engagement or even marriage. I also encourage all you parents to suggest this idea to your children - and pray for them to experience (or, for the boys, lead) chaste and holy courtships.

Nifty furniture

Deo gratias! A very generous family from our parish offered to donate a combination changing table/dresser to a family in need. The Director of Stewardship approached me after Mass one morning and asked if I would be interested. Indeed I was! So we made all the arrangements and the piece of furniture came to its new home last night.

The dresser unit is a really nice, sturdy, functional piece of furniture. The family kept mentioning that it is a Bellini, a manufacturer with which I was unfamiliar. But a quick search online led me to discover that this item is worth up to $900! It's a unique design - the "Retractable, oversized changing surface allows you to change the baby from head to toe, not from the side like most changers. The top powder shelf allows generous storage for toiletries, while a lower shelf allows easy access to diapers. When your child is out of diapers, simply retract the slide top and attach the top molding (included) to use this piece as a three drawer dresser with three open shelves."



Now I just need to wipe out the drawers and I'll finally be able to put away all the cute little clothes and cloth diapers I've been collecting and receiving as gifts (thanks, Beth, Patty, Mom, and Grandma!).

I'm especially jazzed about the pull-out changing surface, but I'm not 100% on the huge pad - are those smaller, contoured pads better for keeping a little one in one place during a changing?

It's a GIRL!

This morning's ultrasound went splendidly. Our little baby appears to be healthy and whole, thanks be to God. It was fun watching the ultrasound technician search for, capture, and tag all the parts they identify and measure. The baby's position made it challenging to confirm a heart with four chambers and a proper flow of blood, but we were able to see all that eventually. Best of all, we were able to see the telltale "three lines" and now know that God has blessed us with a little girl.

Our OB clinic automatically provides DVDs and record part of the ultrasound session for patients. They also use a special device to offer a 4D view of the baby, so we got to see her facial features (which will continue to develop and may look different later on). Way cool!

Her heartbeat: a very normal 143 bpm

A nice profile (don't worry about the darker spot - the ultrasound device couldn't get her whole head, but it's there)

She was opening and closing her mouth here...aww

WYD: How Theology of the Body found me

As I read about World Youth Day in Australia this week, I took a little trip down memory lane to my own World Youth Day experience in Toronto, Canada, in 2002. As a chaperone I guided several youth from the Diocese of Spokane to daily catechetical lessons, Masses, meals, concerts, Adoration, and more. Although joyful memories flood my mind (the handmade shell rosary I was given, explaining courtship to a teenager on the trolley, hearing Pope John Paul II pray the Mass...), I have been especially grateful remembering the Love & Responsibility booklets I gathered in Toronto.

As the World Youth Day crowds thronged by, a few people were handing out a 32-page booklet with the Pope on the front. "Pope John Paul II on Love & Responsibility," it said, then "The Challenge of Human Sexuality." I was intrigued. When I saw the ground littered with the booklets a few yards further along, I actually stooped to pick up as many as I could carry. Somehow I knew that the information they contained would be valuable to share with others in the future.

I didn't get a chance to read the document through until much later, after I returned from the Toronto. Amazed by its forthright discussion of human love, metaphysics, ordered sexuality, the theology of marriage, and natural family planning, I started underlining like crazy (I have that copy in front of me now). I was given a taste of the rich banquet that is Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, and I began to hunger for more.

Thank God for the group, Love and Responsibility Foundation, that organized the donations and the labor to print and distribute those brochures. Mine prompted me to learn more about the Theology of the Body, and this educational journey has changed the way I understand human life and love.

If you haven't yet discovered this treasure of the Church, perhaps you might like to start with the same brochure that influence me. It is available on the Foundation's website here (as a PDF). Christopher West (a fabulous synthesizer of Pope JP II's dense philosophical writings) also has an introductory article here.

Good news of great joy!

We're pregnant! We went for an ultrasound and saw the little one for the first time yesterday. The baby is looking good and has a very strong heartbeat (183 beats per minute!).

Due date: February 25.

We're almost 8 weeks along. I've experienced nausea and headaches since week 5, but I've learned what helps (ginger tea and lots of other fluids, eating first thing in the morning, sleeping more) and am feeling a bit better lately (thanks be to God!).

David and I are truly grateful to God for the gift of this child and we ask your prayers for a successful pregnancy and delivery! Thank you. :)

Deo Gratias: Foresty Getaway

In just a few hours David and I will be driving to Tennessee. We're visiting my aunt and uncle over the long weekend - they live on the other side of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. As much as I loathe unnecessary fuel consumption, I have been looking forward to this trip. I've never seen the house my aunt and uncle built. Because it is "set apart" on a large piece of land (hopefully with lots of trees) it nearly promises the peace and relaxation I so desire. And David and I have a history of really enjoying our time together on long car rides. He's loaded up the iPod and I've cut up some watermelon for the cooler.

May you and your loved ones rejoice in your freedom today! How precious, too, is the freedom of spirit we Christians experience when we turn to the Lord and place ourselves under His mercy again and again. Deo Gratias!

Deo Gratias: Liturgy of the Hours

A few weeks ago David expressed interest in praying the Liturgy of the Hours more regularly. He found what prayers he could on eBreviary (which went subscription-only on the majority of its prayers recently). He tried using my simplified Christian Prayer book but wasn't satisfied knowing that it doesn't allow him to pray exactly what so many other Catholics (especially clergy and religious) are praying around the globe that day.

Late one night David heard God prompting him to turn on the computer and order the full set of Liturgy of the Hours books. An unusual prompting, I know, but how can we question something that will inevitably make us holier?

The box came on Thursday and David unwrapped the books with delight when he got home from a 12-hour shift of his preceptorship. He found all the proper pages and we prayed Night Prayer together on the couch. It was lovely! Praying the Liturgy of the Hours brings me great peace and centeredness. I hope his new prayer regimen (as his nursing school schedule allows) brings David that same peace and deepening of faith. I look forward to joining him often!

Photo credit: bhsher

Deo Gratias: God gave Frances a new job!

To continue the story from this post...

Exactly one week ago today I received a phone call from a fellow parishioner (the NFP dad). In his voicemail he told me that his company had a position opening that he thought I might be well suited to and he invited me to call his brother-in-law to find out more. I was on my way to an appointment, so I debated whether to make the call in the 20 or so minutes I had before the appointment or wait until afterwards. I waited. Then, safely in my car in the parking deck (with shade, silence, and privacy), I made that fateful phone call.

I am not sure how much detail to provide here - if you have questions about some specifics I neglect, feel free to ask in the comments or via email. Here goes:

The Director of Publishing of Saint Benedict Press, currently based in Gastonia, NC, (about 20 minutes outside of Charlotte) is expanding the business and looking for an Associate Editor to help him write book prefaces and back cover descriptions and contribute to decision making on all aspects of the business, from marketing to artwork to book selection. For various reasons deadlines loom and he needs a right-hand man (or woman) as soon as possible. Ideally, this person would possess writing and editorial skills, the ability to handle all sorts of practical and creative business needs, AND a lively Catholic faith with a strong appreciation for quality Catholic literature.

We chatted for about half an hour and then he invited me to meet him in person - as soon as possible. I shared without any need for secrecy that I was on my way to Adoration and Mass at St. Ann's and would not be available until 8 pm. He agreed to meet me at a coffee place five minutes from where I live at that time.

With my heart racing and my mind reeling, I called David as I drove to church. He listened and then encouraged me to be open and put it all before the Lord in prayer. We met in the church parking lot and went in for some awesome Jesus time. As I prayed I realized all the things I love about my current job (great environment, varied work, excellent pay and benefits, and not too much stress) and all the reasons I had concerns about taking a new job at this stage of our life, especially one that was further away, promised to be more stressful, and paid less. I left Mass believing that this was not the right opportunity for me.

But when I spoke with the Director on the phone on my way home, he listened to all of my concerns and countered them: the commute isn't really very long or difficult (just 35 minutes going the opposite direction than most on the highway), the job might be stressful at times but not constantly, and he was willing to negotiate salary. When I told him point-blank "we're hoping to be blessed with a baby soon and I'm concerned about starting a new job, being sick in the first few months, and then having to leave less than a year later" he assured me "we can work with that." Can you believe it? (Keep in mind that he and his wife have five children ages six and under. And that they met at Franciscan.)

So I agreed to meet with him as planned. We spent almost 2 hours sitting at a table in the open air, talking about Catholic classics, business practices, artistic design, and my background. I left with a lot of excitement and uncertainty.

On Thursday afternoon the Director called. He wanted me to visit the offices of Saint Benedict Press and its parent company, Good Will Publishers. The CEO and other key personnel needed to meet me. We coordinated our schedules and I drove out to Gastonia that very afternoon. (Can you believe how quickly this was all going?) For another 2 hours I toured the facility, learned all about Good Will, chatted with employees, and endured a grilling from the CEO. Once again, I left excited. But was I ready for such a big change? Was this really what God wanted me to do?

I spoke with friends and family and discussed the pros and cons. I prayed fervently - I haven't been so communicative and close with God in a long time (I call the whole ordeal the "spiritual kick in the pants" I needed). On Friday morning I shared the possibility of a new job, my dream job, with my supervisor and a few friends at work. Their overwhelming response: do it. This is an opportunity not to be missed.

Mid morning the Director called: "we want to offer you the position." (Fact check: that's less than 48 hours from finding out about the job to being offered the job. Whoa!) My response: "my husband wants to meet you" (quite a logical request, considering that I would be spending much time one-on-one with this other guy). The Director agreed to meet us for lunch. Over lunch, David asked all the questions that he needed to ask, in a gentle but serious way. I loved him so much for that! The Director's answers satisfied David, and we told him we would take the weekend to discern our response.

Lots of great conversations and prayers ensued and by Sunday we were certain that God had orchestrated this blessing. Despite the sacrifices taking this job necessitates in our lives (I will be away from home more, our costs will go up and our income will decrease, and the stress might further delay our hope for pregnancy), we see that God will use it to challenge me spiritually in the best of ways (I will be reading awesome spiritual texts) and provide a beautiful opportunity for me to evangelize (I will be writing to encourage others to read these awesome spiritual texts). I will use all the skills I've developed in school and my previous employment experiences. And, I do believe, this work will bring me great joy. (It makes me chuckle to realize I actually told the CEO I have a gift of joy. It was so refreshing to be completely transparent about my faith the entire time.)

I filed my two-week notice at the library on Monday. Friday, May 16, 2008, will be my last day with PLCMC. Although my first official day at Saint Benedict's will be the following Monday, I've already started writing for an assignment. Here I go!

We truly appreciate your prayers as we go through this transition and prepare for whatever God might have in store for us!

Deo Gratias: the Choice to Serve

"Angels and men, as intelligent and free creatures, have to journey toward their ultimate destinies by their free choice and preferential love. They can therefore go astray." CCC 311

I once heard that God created the angels and gave them one and only one opportunity to choose: love and serve Him for all eternity OR follow their own way and be separated from Him forever. Lucifer and his followers chose the latter, and thus we have Satan and Hell. I researched this in the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

"This 'fall' consists in the free choice of these created spirits, who radically and irrevocably rejected God and his reign." CCC 392

"It is the irrevocable character of their choice, and not a defect in the infinite divine mercy, that makes the angels' sin unforgivable. 'There is no repentance for the angels after their fall, just as there is no repentance for men after death.'" CCC 393

I believe Milton's Paradise Lost fleshes out this idea, but my much-marked college copy is buried in a box of classics. Nonetheless, the concept challenges me. I realize how very blessed we humans are.

God is so good. He opens up before us abundant opportunities to exercise the free will He so lovingly gave to us. Every moment of every day we can choose whether or not we will serve God or ourselves. Alas - we often choose poorly, motivated by selfishness. But God also provides abundant opportunities to repent - and to choose rightly next time. We have it better than the angels in this regard, don't you think?

And yet we have much to learn from them:

"With their whole beings the angels are servants and messengers of God." CCC 329

Lord, help me to serve You with my whole being!

"In the meantime, the whole life of the Church benefits from the mysterious and powerful help of angels." CCC 334

Deo Gratias!

Photo credit: swissrolli

Deo Gratias: Butternut Squash

I love me some butternut squash. It looks and tastes delicious in its natural state - cooked, of course, but with nothing added. And it's so easy to make!

Here are a couple of squash I've had sitting on my counter for a couple of weeks. They keep amazingly well! I use the big knife to slice them down the middle. Then I scrape out the seeds and stringy flesh with a spoon.

I lay the halves face up in a glass baking dish (some recipes say lay them face down - it probably doesn't matter). Then I put about a half inch of water in the bottom of the dish and cover (with either a lid or tin foil, depending which dish I use).

I set the oven to 350 or 400 degrees and let the squash steam itself for an hour or so - more if the halves are very thick. You can see the spoon marks where I tested doneness - the spoon should meet no resistance.

Finally, I scoop the flesh right into bowls to enjoy all week. Sometimes I sprinkle a little cinnamon or cinnamon/sugar on top, but it's not really necessary.

Do you like butternut squash? How do you serve it?

Deo Gratias: Wedding Bands

This is the inaugural post of a "special feature" here at Loving and Serving: Deo Gratias. In an effort to cultivate an "attitude of gratitude," I would like to challenge myself to post often about things for which I am truly grateful. Because God is the source of all good things, the thanks go to Him. Hence Deo Gratias, which, in Latin, means "thanks be to God."

This phrase has enriched my spiritual journey so much over the years that, when David and I decided to have our wedding bands engraved, I chose it as my phrase for David. I wanted the message in his ring to remind David that, in good times and bad, 1) I thank God for my husband, and 2) I encourage him to thank God for everything. David approved of the message and, when I gave him the option of having it inscribed in Latin or English, he opted for Latin.

David chose the perfect phrase for the inside of my wedding band: "Peace be with you". Knowing that my husband is praying for God's peace to be manifest in my life brings me great comfort. Sometimes, when I'm feeling anxious, I take off my ring and read the phrase again. Jesus' words then stir in my heart:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid. John 14:27, NAB

Some time ago, on a day I was feeling quite upset about not being pregnant, God manifested Himself with this phrase - straight out of the mouth of a babe. Friends of ours were sitting one pew in front of us at Mass, and their toddler was a bundle of energy, moving constantly and making little noises (but no words) from time to time. At the sign of peace, he reached out his little hand, looked right into my eyes, and said, clear as day, "Peace be with you." My heart overflowed with God's message of love and peace. I am still grateful for that experience.

Deo Gratias!

Photo credit (not our actual rings): John & Mel Kots