Thursday, April 24, 2008

Receiving abundant life

He did not bring us out this far to take us back again.
He brought us out to take us into the Promised Land. (x2)

Though there be giants in the land I will not be afraid. (x3)
At Adoration yesterday this song arose in my heart. I can still imagine my college friend Sarah playing it on her guitar and catching the change in pitch just right with her voice (I never could). Why this song, why today? I began to journal:

Perhaps it's because I feel like I'm floundering out in the open a little. God has most certainly led me to this stage in my life - I've followed Him to and from some strange lands (New Jersey??) along the way. I now find myself happily married (Deo Gratias!), working full time in a decent job, living in a decent apartment, looking forward to some new ministry opportunities . . . and childless. Is motherhood my Promised Land? Why can't I see it on the horizon yet? What am I to do here in the desert in the meantime?
Eat manna.
The words came to me like a whisper, but the command was strong: Eat manna.

Do you mean the Eucharist, Lord? Are You calling me to draw nourishment for my journey from Your Body and Blood? I go to Mass up to 6 days a week, Lord. I am receiving You. Is there more I need to do?
I come to give you life -- abundant life.
Yes, Lord. I know that my heart has been stiff, closed-off, and distracted at times - unreceptive. There are giants in my heart, and they try to separate me from You.
Though there be giants in the land I will not be afraid.
Lord, forgive my doubt - free me from fear. Help me to conquer the giants and open myself fully to receive your graces. Jesus, I trust in You. Grant that I may recognize and embrace the abundant life You offer me.

I share these personal reflections and prayers with you because I want you to know how good God is to me when I struggle. His messages to me opened my heart anew to His love and I left His Presence filled with joy and hope. That hope carried me through today. After a busy day of work I still had a song in my mouth and a bounce in my step. At one point a coworker caught me bouncing and imitated me playfully. Bashful but wanting to explain, I blurted out, "I'm happy!"

"I know," he replied, smiling. God is good.


Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the giants, and being happy. Also thanks for stopping by my giveaway :)

The Heart of Things said...

Hi Frances, thanks for sharing this heart to heart talk of yours with the Beloved. I hear our story too in yours. Motherhood and fatherhood seem for us to be a faraway Promised Land, but His Manna feeds us all the way. (I love the Jersey comment too ;) I grew up in Burlington County on the edge of the Pine Barrens! On a lighter note, have you ever heard John Gorka's song "I'm from New Jersey"? Worth playing for yourself and David. All becomes clear in those lyrics!

Thanks again for an achingly beautiful post!